My sister keeps trying to get me into this twitter thing, which, from what I can see, has absolutely no purpose whatsoever. It seems like basically updating my facebook status every 23 seconds or so, which I think is a bit obsessive. I got twitter over three months ago and I think I've updated it three times. If I did use it as it is intended to be used, here's a little something how it would look. Just a normal Tuesday morning . . .
9:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off. F no, bitches, I'm hungover!
9:10 a.m. - Oh fine. I was having dreams about 9/11 anyway.
9:30 a.m. - Drop Alana off at school. No, I will not carry your coffee to your class, gimp city.
9:45 a.m. - Get home. Anyone want half my breakfast sandwich?
9:46 a.m. - Matt wants half my breakfast sandwich.
10:00 a.m. - Cash Cab
10:15 a.m. - Cash Cab
10:30 a.m. - Cash Cab
10:45 a.m. - Cash Cab
11:00 a.m. - Cash Cab is over . . .
11:10 a.m. - Cry
11:13 a.m. - Poop
11:15 a.m. - The robots have arrived.
11:16 a.m. - My need to update my twitter as I battle the robots is hindering my performance.
11:18 a.m. - Lazer burn to right eye. Blinded, in severe pain.
11:20 a.m. - Left ankle broken, arm severed. Blood all over laptop.
11:23 a.m. - Light fading. World growing darker. Robots win. I must warn-
See. Twitter causes death.
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