Things to avoid.

In the short span of my 21 years thus far, I have learned quite a bit.  Mostly by way of mistakes.  Here I compile my top five things to avoid in life.  Hopefully they can save some poor soul with poorer judgement than mine.  If that person exists slash is still alive.

5) Cigarettes.

Delicious.  Relaxing.  Pure, tasty, cylindrical evil.  If there is any habit you should strongly consider not ever considering, it is cigarettes.  Even while drunk.  Remember how hard it was to sleep after you stopped sucking your thumb as a teenager?  It's even harder to get through the day without a smoke once you've gotten into the habit.  Trust me.  I'm smoking right now  . . .

4) Abortions.  

Okay.  I've never had one.  But I consider them something to be avoided at all costs.  So, effectually, one should avoid unprotected sex.  Or sex altogether.  Fuck it.  Don't even masturbate.  

3) Minority-based debates.

Whenever a black/asian/jewish/gay person starts talking about how life is hard for them . . . agree.  Your over-privileged, upper-middle class, caucasian plight will NEVER compare, regardless of how long you had your braces on for.

2) Your friends relationships.

ESPECIALLY if both parties are friends of yours.  The last thing you want dropped into a couple's fight is your name.  Like "(Insert name here) agrees with me, you're being totally unreasonable about this."  Think about fights you've had in your own relationships.  If you involve yourself, you are about to be dragged into one much worse.  And you won't even be getting laid.

1) Blogging.

Huge waste of time while you should be studying for midterms.